First Time
by Viridis73
Summary: Pretty self expanatory. E/B wedding night. I/C.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight. I never have. I never will. Not that it wouldn't be great....but I will never reach those levels of creativity.**

**A/N: Okay, I have only just started reading fanfics, I have never written one. I don't write and certainly do not claim to be an aspiring auther. But...I was noticing that in all of the ones that I have read (and I have probably missed the one(s) similar to what I'm writing) even that first time is described like something straight out of a Harlequin. Even in BD, we pick up after the actual act with Bella all "it was perfect, we fit together like 2 parts made for each other". Give me a break. Maybe I missed something my first time, but, we are talking about 2 teenage virgins. I know, I know, Edward is over 100 years old and he has heard/seen everything through other peoples minds & actions. However, we also know that he can barely bring himself to acknowledge that he has these feelings himself, much less for him to studiously review all of these experiences in order to truly please Bella that first time. Also, he's nervous, terrified and all caught up in the "I'm so selfish", "I'll hurt her", ect. So, basing this on personal experience and what I've talked about with other women over the years, here goes...**

The water was very warm. Edward was right (again), this is a beach that I would approve of. I placed my hand over his and noticed that the water had warmed him. God, this was hard. Harder than I thought it would be. After all this time (and frustration) the night was finally here. He is so beautiful and I am so just, me. I was caught between so many different actions. Running and hiding under the covers being one of them. Okay, be brave. I leaned into him and put my hands on either side of his face. He seemed unable to move. He was willing to let me start this, I kissed him, running my tongue over his bottom lip. Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. As always, as soon as he kissed me back, I was lost. Breath, in 1,2, out 1,2. If I passed out all this would stop. He moved his mouth down to my jaw and up to my ear. So far, this was familiar territory, except for being completely naked and alone and not expected to stop of course. I ran my hands down his back, enjoying being able to touch his skin. I slowly, almost sneaking, brought my left hand around and started running my fingers across his hip. Edward took in one quick breath and began kissing his way down my chest. God. My awkwardness seeming to disappear (for a few minutes at least) I reached down and ran my fingers over him. I don't know what I was expecting. He just froze, looking down at me with shock in his eyes. But, he didn't stop me. Here comes the awkwardness, roaring right back. I wish I had done this before, I mean not the whole having sex thing. I was so happy that my first time would be with Edward. I loved him so much and I wanted him so much. It's all I've been thinking about for so long. This night. It's the actual mechanics of it that are so terrifying. He has been so concerned with not allowing things to go to far that I have never been allowed much more than a slightly sexy backrub. Touching his chest was considered risque. Okay, deep breath, he was waiting for me, watching to see what I would do next. Certainly, I'd at least read something about this..I wrapped my fingers around him and began moving them up and down. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, his mouth on my neck. His breathing ragged. Well, this seems to work. Edward picked me up quickly and moved towards the shoreline. He laid me down in the sand and more shallow water and slowly moved his body over mine. Oh!!, he kissed me again. Cool, sweet breath over my lips and nose. His tongue touching my lips, he ran his mouth and nose down my chin and neck, his hands were very close to my breasts. Please, keep going, please!!! He was very gently resting his whole body against mine. I could feel his thighs on mine, his stomach on mine, I could feel him, very hard against my stomach. Finally. I inched my fingers down again and began running them up and down the side of him. I'd never, ever heard him breathing like this. He held his upper body up on one hand and brought his mouth down to my right breast. Oh, thank god. He kissed my nipple, and put just his lips around it. I could feel just the very tip of his tongue touch me. The temperature difference between the very warm water around our lower bodies and his tongue was extreme. I was feeling so many different things. Nerves, hot, my brain was on overload. His left hand ran down my side and inched slowly between us. He glided over my hip and down. One finger slowly moved past my (authors note... you all know I've never written anything before, what the hell do I call this?...) bikini line and slowly up and down me. Yes!! I tried moving my legs more apart and tilting my hips upward to let him know that this was right. Just exactly what I wanted him to do. His finger moved inside me and I caught my breath. Reminding myself to breath again. The much dreaded fainting being a real posibility at this point. His finger moved in and out slowly. Oh god. I wished that he would move his finger out and up just a little bit. Why couldn't he read my damned mind, right now would be great.

"Bella?", "Hmm?", "I..., ummm, I can't, mmm, if at any time I hurt you.." Okay, time for some fast reassurance. I knew that this was going to hurt a little and I knew that if I didn't open my mouth quickly he would stop altogether and go hide under the bed. "Edward, we know that it will hurt a little, can't be avoided, just (do it already???) be gentle and we'll go from there". He kissed me again and again, and reached down to guide himself into me. At first, when he touched just the outside of me, it was so good. Just like I'd thought. Everything in my body was straining towards him. Please, please. He pushed himself into me slowly. It began to hurt. I mean it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Between being the worlds biggest klutz and being beaten and vampire bitten this was nothing. Not comfortable but not overwhelming. The downside being that I was focusing on not letting him know that it hurt at all, for fear that he'd stop and not focusing on all the feelings that had been running through me before. Edward pushed himself all the way in and partially collapsed on top of me. I moved my legs wide and wrapped my calves around his. He searched my face quickly for signs of pain, signs that this was what I wanted. I tried to put how much this was what I wanted into my eyes and kissed him quickly. I pushed my hips down into the sand and water to bring him out of me a little and then up to bring him back in and that was all it took. He let go. I know that a part of his brain was still very focused on not crushing me, but finally most of it was focused on what he was feeling. He eyes were closed tightly and he was pushing himself in and out of me. His breathing was past ragged and almost into hyperventilating. I wrapped my arms around his back and kissed him. I was waiting. Here we were finally having sex. On our wedding night, on the beach no less and what had happened to all the tightness, the hitched breathing, the overwhelming feelings I'd had. I kept waiting while he moved. Shouldn't something change. Wasn't there some place inside me that was being touched that would bring that all back. Edward quickened his pace. This was fine, it didn't really hurt, but I was missing something. I tried to think about how I'd read this would be, shouldn't I be overwhelmed and about to, well, have my first Edward enduced orgasm. He was desperate now.

"Oh, Bella, oh" his voice moving past husky. Don't get me wrong, I liked this. I loved knowing that it was my body that was making him feel this way. That I could force him to drop so much of his control. I loved it a lot. I was just expecting something...more....

He was growling now everytime he pushed himself back in. I was trying to keep up, but between being a little bit sore and moving my hips in a way that wasn't familiar, I was getting ready for this part to be done. Maybe I'd done something wrong..I searched my brain for some detail that I was missing. I didn't think that Edward had done anything wrong. Maybe if he'd kept that finger on my (blushing here) clitoris and rubbed while having actual sex, mmmm, I imagined that feeling. Starting to get back into it, damn if only he could read my mind.

"God, Bella, god", one more time in and out and he was done. I sighed. I really wasn't done. He pulled himself out and laid down beside me. He wrapped his arms back around me and pulled me closer. His eyes were bright with emotion and other things...He leaned toward me and kissed me gently. "I don't have the words to describe how I feel right now" Edward whispered to me. I could see the joy in his eyes and face. I smiled at him, feeling relieved that he'd clearly enjoyed this and hoping that I'd figure out exactly what it was that I needed him to do so that we could be in the same place next time, while at the same time hoping that he wouldn't notice that I wasn't feeling exactly what he was. His forehead wrinkled a little as he looked at me, his eyebrows drawing together as he studied my expression. His nostrils flared, "Bella?" "Edward", I smiled, thinking what?

"Was that not as, um, did you not, well, uh,", if Edward could blush, he certainly would have. Quickly understanding what he was getting at, the heat ran up my chest and face. Certainly, he noticed that. Damned vampire senses. I was beginning to understand the nostril flare. He could smell it. He could tell be smell that I hadn't had quite as good a time as he did. If only we both weren't so inexperienced that we could actually talked about as well as know it.

**A/N: Please excuse any typos and the font and the bold. I don't have any decent word processing software on my computer and I am too embarassed to ask anyone I know to proof read this for me. I think I'll stop here. I am very confident that Edward will wring the truth out of Bella and work harder next time to get it right. I'm sorry for my lack of faith in vampire sex being so much better than regular sex that first time, but come on really. The first time.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight. I never have. I never will. Not that it wouldn't be great....but I will never reach those levels of creativity.**

**A/N: Okay, when I wrote the first chapter, I wasn't really intending on going any further. I've had a few reviews and so far they've been positive, one even saying that they would like me to continue. So, here goes. Please let me know if this seems to flow. I know that this chapter is really short and also probably doesn't need the M rating, but I'm trying to work through the dialogue and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. **

Oh, this was mortifying. Here we were, Edward and I, sitting in the beautiful white bedroom. Facing each other across the bed. Me, turning red and stumbling over my words like a looneytoon character and Edward looking hurt, confused and guilty.

Granted, losing my virginity hadn't been what I'd thought. Although, looking at it logically, I'm not really sure what it was that I thought was going to happen. I guess that, in my head, I'd always imagined this perfect joining of body and soul. Both of us just naturally moving forward to, well, completion - Holy Crow - I'm such a mess that I can't even say orgasm in my own head.

Edward and I had been through so many truly extraordinary events, I had just assumed that this, such a natural one, would be easy in comparison.

I couldn't even really explain to Edward what the problem was. I was not unhappy, just a little disappointed with the experience. The very fact that I was not able to express how I was feeling in words, out loud, was making the whole situation worse.

Here is my husband, the incredible person that I love beyond my own life and I was feeling just as awkward as I had in 6th grade when we watched the "You're a Woman Now" video or even worse, when Charlie had decided to give me the "Sex Talk" a couple of months ago.

"Bella, please, I can't take this. You are driving me insane. You know you can tell me anything. I hurt you, didn't I. You're just trying to let me off the hook. Are you bruised? I know your not bleeding....."

Oh, god. Must open mouth and speak coherently.

"No, I'm not hurt". He looked at me skeptically. "If you're not hurt, than what is it?"

"Well, it's just that, I, uh, it wasn't exactly how I thought it would be". I felt like such an idiot. More of one than usual. I was the one who had pushed and pushed for this. The one thing that I had to have before my change. One of my original reasons for agreeing to the wedding was for this. If only he wasn't so sensitive to my every reaction. I so wish that I could have hidden it from him. Just smiled and said "That's wonderful dear, time for the human to sleep now".

"In what way", he asked. Forget it, I crawled into Edwards lap and hid my face against his chest. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes tightly, I began.

"First, was it what you expected?", it was easier to talk about now that he was holding onto me. Edward breathed deeply, "I didn't really know what to expect. Of course, I knew the basics, but there is no real way to describe the feelings, the sensations, the emotions".

"Okay, same here", I could do this. I could tell him what I was feeling and thinking. "I think I may have had some misconceptions about how it all worked". I waited for his response, hoping that he would ask a question and I would answer and that we would figure this out together.

"A misconception regarding which part?" he asked. Perfect. A question and now an answer. "The end part", brilliant - how enlightened he must feel now. Edward didn't bother to qualify that with a new question, he waited for me to clarify. "I guess I thought once you were, um, inside, it would just happen" I finally choked out. Again, brilliant - I couldn't even say what "it" was. I could feel him growl a bit against my back. I knew I was just frustrating him further. Oh, he wasn't angry, just confused and impatient with my answer.

"You know Bella, if you would please tell me what "it" is, I may be better able speak in an intelligent manner regarding your misconception". I blushed again, "Edward, please don't make me say the word, you know, "it", the end part. I could be wrong, not being a guy or a vampire, but I think that you were, um, done?!?".

"Oh...well...

**So, what do you think? Should the torment go on? Or, should I just end it now. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I have 9 reviews. Yay (jumping up and down like Alice-actually being 4'10", I know that you have to jump up and down in order to actually see anything). Hey, I know many people have many more than 9, but since I haven't written anything since my junior ap English class, this is great. I have also learned not to allow my pervy husband to read anything I may write. He completely got the wrong idea, somehow coming to the conclusion that I have a new interest in smut and all things smutty. So, anyways, here goes. This is the final chapter. I apologize if I have deviated from BD at the end. It's not possible to sit at the computer with a copy of the book in my house. I would be endlessly tormented as my 17 year old daughter is a complete freak (disdaining all things Twilight) and frankly I'm not willing to put up with it.**

EPOV

I had promised her that we would try and we had. We had succeeded. I was able to push through all of the overwhelming sensation, pleasure and keep her safe. I had planned carefully, knowing we would need absolute privacy. I needed to focus without a random voice chiming in with inane distractions and Bella, being so very innocent and shy needed to know that we were completely alone.

We needed the warmth, the heat of the island to counteract the difference in our body temperatures and while it went against the grain to make love to Bella for the first time on the ground, I knew that the warm water would keep my temperature up and wash away any traces of blood that could rob me of my control in that moment.

Swallowing my own discomfort or rather ultimate humiliation, I had spent hours discussing this night with my father. Needing to know what to expect, what steps could be taken to mitigate the danger. At the end of our last conversation, I had asked Carlisle about the basics. I knew the mechanics, but I wanted to please Bella, not just accomplish the act. He had told me that it's different for everyone, male, female, human or vampire. I should pay attention, watch Bella's face, listen to her words, every sound, feel the shifts in her heartbeat, breath, body temperature and scent. How frustrating I found his words. Of course I would pay attention. I always paid attention. Bella is my fascination, my only obsession. I never tired of watching her, listening to every sound, breathing in every scent.

In desperation I turned to my brothers. Within 30 seconds of seeing the images in Emmett's sex addled brain and even Jaspers', I quickly withdrew to the forest, hearing their laughter for miles.

Should I have gone to Alice or Esme? Yes, clearly that should have been my next step. Either would have gently explained the best way to bring Bella the same level of pleasure her body had brought me.

So foolish. So full of pride. After nearly a century of hearing the thoughts and images of everyone I came into contact with, I was over confident. Feeling that I could certainly provide my wife with an orgasm on our wedding night.

Bella had always always responded to me with passion. A feather light kiss on her neck caused her heart to race. Kissing her mouth, holding her close to me, touching just the tip of my tongue to her lips sent her breathing to erratic extremes. I could smell her arousal. The last weeks had been the worst and best kind of torture. Feeling her, hearing her, smelling her. I was crazed.

The images I held of Bella, my secret desires, fantasies I never shared with her. I could at the very least maintian the facade of being a gentlemen.

Now, in my arrogance, I had failed. No, I hadn't hurt her. At least no more than any man would have. But, I hadn't paid attention at the most vital point. I had lost myself in her body. Had used her for my own fulfillment, not thought of hers. And now, holding her, my wife, in my arms, my traitorous body wanted only to push her back into the bed and have her again and again. To bury myself in her body and fly. It was only moments ago, but I felt as though I were starving. The need, so similar to my thirst. She must know how base my reactions are. She must know how I had used her so selfishly. She can't event speak to me. I'm not sure why she's in my arms and not sobbing, as far away from me as possible.

I can do this. I have to do this. To compensate for my lack of focus, my inability to pay attention. Swallowing my shame, my mortification, I began to purposely recall some of the images so "generously" provided by Emmett and Jasper. Would my angel respond in the same way as Rosalie and Alice? The images were... intriguing with Bella as a participant. Perhaps, I could----

"The end part. Do you mean an orgasm?". Rather than draw this torment out any longer, I chose to get right to the point. Her body temperature rose another couple of degrees. If it were possible for someone to burst into flace from blushing, Bella certainly would have.

"Yes, Edward, an orgasm", she said sourly. "Bella, it's nothing to be embarrassed about", for her at least - I should certainly die of shame for not meeting her needs and then forcing her to talk about it. Focus Edward!

"I am very sorry, more than you can ever know that I didn't pay attention and missed giving you what you gave me, the very best experience of my existence".

"The very best", she looked up at me, her lips curving up and some of the blood leaving her face. Was she happy, not shamed by my rough usage, just embarrassed by the topic.

"Perhaps, Bella, only if it's what you want, we could try again?" I gently held her shoulders so that I could look into her face, read her eyes. Relief, happiness a very small amount of trepidation. Mostly though, I think, mostly anticipation.

I shifted her around so that she was facing me. Held her beautiful face in my hands. I kissed her mouth, breathed into her and then inhaled her taste. I was already there. My body now screaming to throw her back and bury myself in her thighs **(A/N: I hope it's not too much. I've certainly read worse on this site alone since I wrote ch. 1)**. _No, wait, back up._ This is for her. I would not use her. She is my wife, not an object in which to gratify my urges.

I ran my tongue over her lips, her heart raced. Her tiny, hot hands ran over my chest, down my stomach. I brought my hands up from her waist, making circles with my thumbs. She loves this, her eyes, the pupils dilating, breath already coming faster. Cupping her breast, God, her perfect breasts. Her taste, her scent, freesias and woman. Female, heat and mine.

I will not be overcome, for the love of all that's holy, I will serve her properly. I will please her, worship her, cherish her, love her.

I moved my mouth to meet my hands. Brought her nipple into my mouth, stopping before my teeth could touch her. She sighed, took a deep breath and tangled her fingers in my hair. Drawing me closer. Why hadn't I touched her before. This was safe. It brought her so much joy and illustrated my desire for her. I brought her other nipple into my mouth, touching the tip with my tongue and manipulating the rest with my lips. There it was, that scent.

I know she wants this. For her, only for her. Keeping my mouth busy, I lifted her off of my lap and laid her back. I lay down at her side and moved back to her mouth. Running my hands gently over her. Gently, but firmly massaging her back and her waist. Sinfully lingering on her bottom. I really like her bottom. _Stop, back up._ For her. One more little squeeze. Bella sucked in a quick breath. She likes this too?

Bracing myself on one hand, I went back to her breast with my mouth and opposite hand, rolling my eyes up to her face. Her eyes were closed, her lips were swollen and red. Her breath coming in tiny pants. Her whole face flushed with heat and blood. A light dew of perspiration making her slick in my mouth and hand. Carefully thinking of the images Jasper shared with me, and belatedly realizing that Jasper, at least, was trying to share only to show me what to do, I slid my hand over her stomach and down to where that scent was strongest. I ran just one cold finger over that heat and she gasped. Her eyes opened briefly. I watched as I slowly slid that finger inside of her. Another gasp. I smiled around her breast. This was good.

Bella was keeping her hands in my hair. I think in an effort to hold my mouth in place. Showing me that this is where she wanted me. It was no great sacrifice. I could think of only one other place I'd like to have my mouth. _No, back up, not now._ Blocking that image out, I renewed my focus on the job at hand.

I moved my finger inside of her, gathering moisture. Plenty. Moving back out to distribute the wetness evenly. In, out, around, a mantra to please Bella. Sliding my finger back in, I brought my thumb to circle where Jasper had shown me would be best. Her hips jerked up. Pushing herself farther onto my finger and harder against my thumb.

Losing my focus on gently holding her nipple in my mouth, now just rubbing my lips over it, I slid a second finger inside her and made love to her with my hand. Always keeping my thumb circling and then running directly over that spot. Her moan was incredible. I strangle the desire to crawl over her body and just ---

I leaned up to kiss her mouth again and traced her lips with my tongue. If only I could lay here and taste her and touch her all night, all week, forever. Her hips were jerking and thrusting against my hand, crying out with each thrust. So beautiful...

"Edward," she whispered. "Edward, I need you". "What do you need love?". This wasn't teasing. I desperately need her guidance. I could feel the muscles inside of her grasping my fingers. This was different than when I had been inside. She'd been hot and slick and tight around me, but not like this. Maybe it was too much for her human frame, maybe we wouldn't be able to have intercourse again until she was changed. This was wondrous. This was more than enough, more than I had hoped for.

"I need you inside of me" another tortured whisper. "No, Bella, this is better." I moved my fingers faster and with more force. Her breath came faster than I thought possible.

"No, Edward, you inside me, now!" Okay, that was very clear. I slid over her slowly and withdrew my fingers. Very gently I guided myself to her again and pushed into her. Her hips thrust up to meet me and I was nearly done. Control lost. She was tighter now than before. I placed one finger back on that spot that gave her so much pleasure a moment ago and we began again.

I gave up trying to kiss her mouth and just watched her move underneath me. Seemingly, against all odds, I'd figured this part out. Concentrating on maintaining a rhythm with my fingers and my body, she moved with me. Drawing me deeper and faster with every jerk of her hips. Suddenly, her body tightened around me in a way I hadn't known was possible. She screamed my name, My name. I could feel the spasms of her orgasm and let go my control.

I gripped her arms, collapsed on top of her and thrust in again and again. She breathed and moved and cried my name. Her fingernails looking for purchase in my back. This was so much better. So fucking incredible.

Spent, I moved off her and pulled her on top of me. I brought the sheet up to her waist and wrapped my arms around her. She held me tightly, rubbing her face against my chest.

"I love you Edward, I love you" flowed from her lips as she sighed deeply, sleep coming to claim her. Heavy brown eyes closing.

"I love you Bella, more than I have words for. Sleep now. I'm here." And for once, since 1918, ALL was right with the world. We were husband and wife. She was mine, completely, just as I was hers.

As the light from dawn began to creep into our room, I looked down at her, wanting to watch the light travel over her skin. I found that I had been mistaken, horribly mistaken. All was not right with the world. Her torso was mottled with purple and on her arms, her tiny, soft arms, were perfect blue impressions of my fingers.

The end

**A/N: The sentence structure (or lack thereof) in this chapter is mostly purposeful. I am trying to express Edward's lack of coherency. Hopefully, it's not too confusing. Some of it is just plain incorrect. 12th grade English grammar was a very long time ago. Let me know what you think. I am thinking of angsty evilness for the next experiment.**


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